I Choose To Be Single

Disclaimer: This is not a rant about being heartbroken or got dumped or choosing to be alone, but it's about realizations about life that made me come up with this decision. 

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1WgD_dTcUvpbzcsvNdXe8hJBnGqHCGQX7

When you reach a certain age, society will expect you to be married, if not married then most likely engaged or in a serious relationship. Looking for a “lovelife” and searching for “the one” to spend life with “forever” like what romantic movies portray is mostly what drives and pressures most young people to go out there; travel for the sake of maybe finding it along the road, go on different social media platforms for possibility of meeting someone, be on blind dates or joining camps and retreats.

I was on that road before but it isn't the case anymore. Why? Because all these years I've learned a lot about myself, I've realized a lot of things and that made me come up with these personal reasons.  

Reason #1
I can't imagine myself having someone to compromise and contradict my belief, values, ways and personality. I mean I've worked really hard with myself and had a hard time discovering, accepting who I am and honestly until now I'm still in doubt. So right now, I don't want anyone disturbing my inner peace. For the past, I have always compromised myself and accepted things I don't deserve so now I don't want to deal with any of it anymore. The lesson I've learned the hard way, is to walk away from things or people who would just  ruin what I achieved and built for myself. If someone would make me do things not in congruent with my personality then it is not good for my sanity.  

Reason #2
I've had enough. Unfortunately, from the past relationships I had and ended, I am always the casualty. I'm a person who gives everything in love so when it all ends, there's nothing left for myself. No matter how long or deep or shallow the relationship was, it always gets to me to my core. So when it all ends, I'd be in a pit of depression and non-productivity that would take me months or years to recover. This is a cycle I got to go through all these years and it's tiring. I salute those who doesn't get tired, but I think it's not really for me. 

Reason #3
I've always been in my own and kinda got used to it. I'm comfortable being alone, traveling, living, earning so I should know by now that I don't necessarily need a man to complete me. I can be happy and feel whole with myself. A lot of people may argue with this but I've experienced it myself and I'm okay. I can be with my own and won't get bored with it. I know myself very well and having a partner where I have to consider a lot of things before I make choices and decisions will just complicate everything. 

Reason #4
I have planned my life out and I don't want any side trips. I am a goal oriented person (even if I don't look like one) and from the past, things have gone out of hand because of unexpected turn of events like getting in a relationship and changing everything I have carefully laid out and thoroughly planned. Having a partner will make you look at the future differently, like you won't only have to think of yourself. There were goals and ambitions I was ready to sacrifice before just to keep the relationship working. In the end, it still didn't work out so it was like giving up my entire life and becoming the person I don't know all for nothing. 

Reason #5
My family is everything and the first and foremost priority for me. I'm not saying this for the sake of being labeled as a family oriented person but it's really me in the inside. And when I get in relationship, I tend to neglect my family. I seemed to forget my priorities and it made me feel like a selfish person. Not being able to provide for my family's needs and want is the most painful thing to me and makes me feel like an unfulfilled person. Despite how great or perfect my relationship is going, I won't be completely happy knowing I have a family who needs me. 

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1qAL3NIqlow4OO7-WnbThk0UKigC74WpI

So there it is, my few personal reasons. I can come up with more reasons but I think it mostly covered all. My mind may change in the future, I mean I'm not in control with the circumstances but right now, having a boyfriend or getting married isn't in the list of my priorities. My focus is to build a name for myself, improve my career and be there for my family whenever they need me, especially my parents who are not getting any younger. So for future reference, If people ask why I'm single, I can confidently say.. 

It is my choice and I'm happy with it. 😊

Xoxo
Daphne 

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