On my 20th Birthday...

"On my twentieth birthday,
I would be sincerely grateful.
I would not wish for myself, 
But rather be contented and cheerful.
I would not ask for more because 
I've got too much to thank for.
God has been so good because
He has given me this life I am living for."
                                                -Daphne

      Tomorrow will be my day, my birthday. My teen years will be over and I'm turning TWENTY! Years have swiftly passed that I almost forgot that I am getting older. It's strange to realize I still don't feel old despite the fact I am now considered a young adult though still don't know how to act like one. Its seems that I'm still confused and stuck on that developmental stage, "Identity Versus Role Confusion". I just can't imagine myself doing some "mature stuffs" on my own and I still don't feel like I'm responsible for myself and capable of handling difficult situations. I guess I'm experiencing this what they called, "Maturational Crisis" as what they taught us in our psychiatric nursing. Could it be that I'm just in a state of "denial" or "regression" and that's the reason why I act like this? but seriously, that's how I really feel right now. Oh well, so much for that..! cut the crap.. :D

     I just want to write something about my life since I'm turning twenty. I guess our paradigm or our views about life changes over time and I might just share how I look at my life now. First of all, I would like to evaluate what I've done for the past 19 years of my life. Let me just say that I wasn't a good daughter in the past, I was once become rebellious and almost ruined my future. I was so self-absorbed that I didn't even think of what others might feel especially those people who really care. I've hurt people, I did crazy stuffs and I was so dumb! But anyways, no regrets.. I guess I learned a lot from all those experiences. Maybe without those bad things that happened to me, I guess I won't be the same person I am right now.

    All I can say is, experiences taught me to be strong, that no matter how life gets hard, I know it will always be alright. It caused me to change and be the person and daughter I want to be.  Life is just like that, we fall down, we get up. As what a famous author said, its not how many times we fall down but how many times we get up. Right now, I can say, my life is wonderful. Trials made me tough, experiences made me strong. I know that I still have  a lot to learn but I know that I will overcome it all. I'm just thankful for all the persons who became part of my life; for my parents and family who never gave up on me, for my classmates and friends who were always there for me, for all the persons who shared their lives with me, thanks for all the memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I know I still have a lot of birthdays to come and years ahead of me, but I will be forever grateful to God who nurtures me. 

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO ME..! :-D



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