Journey on Quarterlife: Practical ways on dealing with it

In my previous article regarding Quarterlife Crisis, I explained what it is and describe how it feels like being inflicted by it. I also narrated how the journey literally sucked the life out of me. As I contemplate on the experience, on the account of my whole existence, it is so far the lowest I ever had for having lost all hopes and positivity and being consumed by negativity. After a few months which I have endured, basically more than now a year, somehow I got used to the feeling and found some ways on how to deal with it. 

I haven't figured it out yet, like most of my colleagues do, but after some time, I've come to develop some strategies to help myself get through. And that's what I'm about to share right now with high hopes that it can also help others who have the same struggles. We are all unique and has different ways of coping so it might or might not work with everyone. 

THE IMPORTANCE OF GOAL SETTING

We all have heard a lot of sayings that "A person without a goal is like a ship without a rudder" another version is "A person without ambition is like a ship without destination". To achieve the things we all capable of achieving, a sense of direction is what we need. 

At this age, we might often feel lost and confused, because we don't have a clear foresight on where we want to go and what we want to reach and achieve. Talk about the pressure, the feeling of being left behind and all our guts go haywire, we are like a ticking bomb just by thinking all about it, ready to explode and be gone. This could have been prevented or avoided if we know where we stand in life and where we are going. We would be able to point out our place in the world using the achievements we have in the past and be aware of the distance we still have to go through in steering towards our dreams, and that's the importance of goal setting. 

Questions to ask yourself:

What do I really want to achieve in this life? 

What is really my goal in deferent aspects of my life? 

What would be my life 5 years, 10 years, 20 years from now? 

What are my long-term and short-term goals?

WRITE IT DOWN

Robin Sharma said, ¨you will never be able to hit a target you cannot see¨ as he emphasized the importance of setting clearly defined objectives. It is knowing precisely where you are going and that should be the most important principle for anyone seeking to attain goals. 

Meanwhile, in the book ¨The One Thing" by Gary Keller, it says, ¨Those who wrote down their goals were 39.5 percent more likely to accomplish them. This is according to a research done in 2008 by Dr. Gail Matthews of the Dominican Republic University of California who recruited 267 participants from a wide range of professions (lawyer, accountants, nonprofit employees, marketers, etc.) Writing down your goals and your most important priority is your final step to living by priority.¨ 

PLAN

Well, if you have a goal and striving for success is what you aim for, then most likely, in order to succeed, you should have a plan. As the saying goes "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail". If there are different ways of achieving your goals, and you might not be sure what step to take, then write it all down and come up with different plans you can compare with. 

You can have PLAN A, PLAN B, PLAN C and so on and so forth all with the same end which is reaching your goals. We create our own path, whatever course we take or how much detours we make, what is important is that we know the ultimate goal we are aiming for and we act accordingly in order to reach it. 

Be S.M.A.R.T 

A principle commonly used when for effective planning. I first learned it during my college years taking up Nursing courses. It is widely used not just for educational purposes but in all kinds of planning and applicable to all other aspects or areas to focus on. 

S for Specific

M for Measurable 

A for Attainable 

R for Realistic

T for Time-bounded 

AREAS TO FOCUS ON

Career

Either a job or business or anything that you generate income to sustain your daily living expenses, where you can get fulfillment and where you can exercise efforts and productivity. Goals in this area are commonly these; completing a degree, acquiring work experiences, working up on the ladder. This could also be about shifting career or changing jobs but once you choose, make sure it is something that you really want to to do for the rest of your life. 

This is the best time to find ways on how to improve yourself, attend seminars on skills and topics you want yourself to acquaint with. Go out of comfort zones by working abroad, going back to school or earning master’s degree. Also, be mindful of relationships we have in our work and community and the people we surround ourselves with. Are you hanging out with the right kind of people? Networking is one way to meet people needed for career improvement and hanging out with people with the same goals as ours has its benefits. 

Health

This is something that most of us often take granted for. The best habits to develop right now is focusing on our health, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. If you haven't established an exercise or work out routine yet, then better to set goals in doing it 2 to 3 times a week. The best time to be fit and achieve that body and weight we all wanted is right now. (Learn your BMI and recommended weight). 

We should also be mindful of the food we put on our bodies. Eating healthy isn't just a trend but an important act we should do if we plan to live up to 60, 70, 80 years or more. Learn how to cook healthy food and strive for a healthy lifestyle. Managing stress is also one technique we should learn, we may be in our 20s to 30s, single, and stable but it is vital that we should learn how to balance our time by taking take some time off from work or other stressors. Relaxation techniques such as meditation or breathing exercises can enrich our overall health physically, emotionally and spiritually.  

Finances

This is something that all of us may be having a struggle with. Financial education is something that school wasn't able to teach us. Most of us have just started in our careers, or just in the beginning of earning on our own. Some may already have a headstart but I know most, like me, is still struggling. In the rat-race as what they call it living from paycheck to paycheck. Being single has an advantage but it is worse for those who started a family earlier on. 

It is important to have a check of how we spend, keep a monthly tab of your income and expenses, make your own financial statements and think of ways on how to save and acquire assets by building other sources of income in forms of investments. Attend seminars on financial planning and the sorts, being educated in money matters will not only help you maximize on living out your single life but also help you plan in your future married-family life and retirement years. 

Relationships

No man is an island as we all know it. We are all wired to socialize and interact with one another and at this stage, creating meaningful relationships should be one of our focus. At this age in a fast-paced environment, we are most likely to meet a lot of temporary people. We are also living in the world of technology that makes interaction with real people become less and less. As part of our psychosocial development, in “Intimacy versus Isolation” conflict, Erikson believed that it is vital to that we develop, close and intimate relationship with people, romantic in nature or close friendships to overcome the conflict as we enter adulthood. Failure to do so may result in loneliness and isolation. 

Some of us may already be married, but mostly, are either single or in a relationship. If you still don't know the meaning of commitment and compromise then maybe, you still have a long way to go. Keeping your circle and maintaining communication with people you value most is a great help during this time, may it be your partner, close friends, parents, family and loved ones. Establishing support system and reaching out to them is a great deal of help in this transition. 

Other practical tips to beat Quarter-life Blues 

• Have a journal. It could be a diary, planner, or one with a bullet style, where you can write your goals and can monitor your progress. You can also have it as a means of self-expression and a way to improve your writing skills. As you do it every time, you will reap all the benefits writing can give you. It is a good way to know yourself better, get in tuned with your feelings, relieves tension, and improve your way of expressing yourself. Giving it a time before you go to sleep at night is a good start in forming the habit. You can jot down your plans for the next day, your to-do list and day to day struggles and experiences.

• Read books. Topics you are interested in, or some inspirational, motivational self-help books that can boost your morale and other aspects of life, may it be about career, finances, health, and relationships. Most of the things I wrote in this article are insights from articles and books I regularly read. Just recently, I and my colleagues recently started a 30-day challenge and reading books for 30 minutes a Day is the first one I did. The goal is to finish a book every 1-2 weeks. You can start with the highly recommended ones that they say are essential to read in your 20s. 

A few personal Recommendations: 

Life Purpose

Paulo Coehlo's "The Alchemist"

Napoleon Hill's "Think Rich and Grow rich"

Finances

Robert Kiyosaki's "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" and Rich Dad series books 

Cynthia Fuller’s “Learn How to Grow Your Money Exponentially”

Motivation 

Gary Keller’s “The One Thing”

Relationship and Religion 
M. Scott Peck “The Road Less Traveled¨

• Lessen time of "Facebook" use. Let's accept it, Facebook or other social media platforms isn't really helpful at all,  may it be in our productivity or self-esteem. It eats a lot of our time that could have been used in more productive tasks. Also, It just sometimes makes us feel envious, bitter, discontented and discouraged on our own lives that lead us to self-doubt and negative feelings. As a substitute to Facebook, I was able to find out about Quora, a question and answer platform which gives information that is helpful and relevant in today's life where you can find some helpful insights and advice on improving self and productivity.

• Realize your passion. I believe every one of us if we will just dig deep within ourselves has it in our core. We may have let go of some of our passions because of some reasons but reconnecting with it is one way of truly doing something for ourselves. Somehow we are just afraid to take the leap to actually do it because of what our parents, friends, and mentors might tell us that puts us in a dilemma whether conform from what the society tells us to do or divert from the sure common grounds others submissively followed. Even if the old saying of “follow your passion” is already a cliche, I guess it still works in the long run. 

Again, these are only practical tips I can suggest based on my personal experience. The fruition of my unending search for life meaning and purpose and the results of my constant exploration of things. It somehow helped me to be objective in dealing with my predicament, being in this unpleasant journey we all perceive as life. 

Photo Credits: Classic & Bubbly

As I always say, we are the expert on ourselves and knows what’s best for us. We may just have to discover it again before we find out what we really want. The key is to try and try. If you are worried about doing something out of the ordinary or unusual, then this is the best time to discard other’s opinion and have the courage to defy the common belief. Forget about seeking validation and confirmation from the society, go for the things we really want to try and do and be at peace knowing that you are spared in the future from any regrets of the things you could have done but didn’t. Experience life and see where will it lead you. 

May God bless you and prosper you! 

-xoxo-
Daphne