I found Life when I found Myself 2..

When we faced to difficult circumstances, getting up and getting back on track becomes the hardest thing to do. The aftermath effects it brought us is painstakingly agonizing that we have to endure it everyday. We undergo a lot of changes as our response and way of coping up. We becomes self-destructive, we tend to do things out of our character and in effect, we don't know what we've become anymore. We've lost our self-respect and our identity. Those people who changed when unfavorable circumstances happened, they are not fully satisfied of what they've become. They long for the peace they once had when everything was doing good and smooth, before the inevitable as what had happened to me. 

The Aftermath of a Break-up

After the ending of a relationship that lasted for more than 3 years, i was so lost and heartbroken. Having been betrayed by a lot of people, friends and lover alike, it was too much for me to bear. The pain, the hurt and suffering I felt was indescribable. Despite of all the things I gave up for, still, it didn't worked out and so all of my hopes and dreams for the relationship which I invested so much time to grow and effort to work out was still put to vain. People said I should be thankful, and comforted me by those things that people say when something unfavorable happens, that there's something greater for you and that everything happens for a reason. I refused to be comforted and tell them they are just saying those words to help me feel better. It didn't actually help me feel better, I still remained cold and distant for months after the break up. I did a lot of what they said as "crazy stuff" and I've really lost all my inhibitions. I should have been starting to move on and focusing on my career but I lost my enthusiasm. I forgot all about my objectives and fulfilling my dreams wasn't in the list of my priorities anymore. I got focused on what I've lost and everyday after that moment, all I can felt was boredom and despair. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to inspire me and nothing to fuel up my energy. Everyday felt like the same and I was in a vicious cycle of what I made up of my life. 

How Did I find Myself

It's just one day that I felt so much wasted and tired of being depressed and realized that I should do something to stop myself from sucking and get my ass back on track. It took so long for me to realize that I should be moving on. With the help of my ever supporting friends and family, I took their advice that I should at least try but I guess, the will should always come from ourselves. Moving on was difficult and every time I'd take one step forward, I'd stumble and fall two steps backward. As what I've always been hearing people say, "it's better said than done". I also began to search for some activities that might help me get through, I signed up for the gym, established my exercise routine back, which I thought would help me but it still seemed so tiresome and I just didn't had the motivation to get going and stick with it.

I wanted something that would give me peace and exercising just tires me so much. I tried to divert my mind and focused on something that would occupy my time. I had a hobby of making accessories before so I tried to do those things again, I was also able to make some shell crafts and was able to bring out the artistic side of me. It somehow helped and gave me some dose of self-esteem but still, it wasn't enough. I also tried changing the way I look, I had some makeover, changed some of my wardrobe and partly, I became satisfied with myself. Later on, I found out more and more about myself as the days passed. As I did most of the things by myself alone, I've discovered my old traits which I thought is already gone without years of practice and putting attention. 

The Life I found 

Moreover, I know I've always been an adventurous one, I love nature, I am spontaneous and I love to be with different places. I guess being in an adventure is what I've always been wanting to do ever since. And so it started when I got an invitation from a friend to join him in one of his trekking adventures, I considered the thought, jumped on to the idea and said yes. It was a good idea to divert my mind off and help me get through, I thought. I didn't expected what happened next but after my first climb, I felt recharged. I think that's what I needed and I was right, nature did wonders to me. It brought me so much fulfillment, the feeling of sense of well being after conquering a mountain, the indescribable awe and pursuance upon reaching the peak and seeing the marvelous view on top. My first trek brought me so much joy and I felt like I am reconnected with myself again, and for the first time, I feel like I found the missing part of me after so many years. 

A lot of escapades and adventures came after for me, journey to different places, explorations and climbs and after all of those, I got the courage to finally travel internationally. It made me realize that it's the life I'd been wanting to have ever since, to see a lot of places, to go and live in another country, immerse myself in a different environment and have an insight about other cultures. So I packed my bags, set on a plane and had my escapade. After that, I've never been prouder of myself. For me, it is a great accomplishment for doing what I really want to do with my life. Right now, I am currently living here in UAE, practicing my profession and living the life away from home. Everyday is a struggle but a fulfillment as well. Now I can say, gone is the boredom and feeling of despair, I've got something to look forward to, I am not stuck anymore, I've found a reason to strive and this is now the life I've found! 

-Daphne